Second Trimester with Twins: Bumps and Thoughts

Oh man you guys, this twin pregnancy is hard shit. I'm not going to sugar coat this. Not only do I feel like shit most days, but I have to hear people's shit responses and see their shocked shit faces when I tell them it's twins. There's a microsecond between when they hear it's twins and when they say their response back to me, where I can literally see the shock and pity in their eyes. It's to the point where I don't tell anymore unless they specifically ask because I'm sick of seeing it. Some people I can truly see they think it's awesome and exciting, but most others, it's just hilarious to see them try to act fake-happy for me.

I'm also getting plenty of fear mongering statements that I never really got with my first pregnancy, like "Better you than me," "Never sleep again," "I know so-and-so who's twins are two years old and she hasn't slept more than 3 hours straight." Some weird statements I've gotten were, "Do you have a prolapse?" (Ummm, what? No? And that's like, super personal?) And, "Are they going to take them sooner than later? Like 36 weeks?" (Ummm, what? No? Not unless there's a complication?).

Why do people say shit like this to pregnant women? OF COURSE I KNOW sleep will be hard to come by. But you know what, we'll manage because we have to. I don't need to hear these things. They are in no way beneficial to me. I'm just tired. Period.

Do I dare say it? I sorta kinda strongly dislike being pregnant. I love that we are growing our family (even though if I'm being completely honest, twins is kinda more scary than exciting for me at this point), but it's nothing but uncomfortable and I can say with certainty that I do not enjoy gestating two babies at once. Especially with having to keep up with a crazy toddler! I can't walk through Target without getting heart palpitations, which in turn throw me into anxiety attack mode because that's exactly what my anxiety usually feels like. I can't wash the dishes for longer than 7 minutes before my back hurts so bad. And I definitely can't go for walks around the trails anymore. It's really been hard. I feel like I'm on house arrest.

And before anyone blows a gasket, I realize there are many women who would do anything to get pregnant. I WAS ONE OF THEM WITH OUR FIRST BORN SON who was an IVF baby. So I know. I've been there. So please don't get mad at my feelings.

So now with that said and out of the way, here's my 2nd trimester bump pics...


Some good things:
The kicks are always fun. I like getting Brian to feel them.
I passed my gestational diabetes test
Lots more ultrasounds mean more opportunities to see the babies
My sister is visiting in April and my Mom is coming out to help in May
I think I want a scheduled C-section, no surprises and no labor sounds really nice

Some bad things:
Pregnancy insomnia is the worst. Some nights I only get 3 hours of sleep.
Can't sleep in the same bed with Brian because I need to roll this way and that, so he goes in the guest room :( It's for his own good though.
Hard time breathing doing anything at all, even sleeping
Weird sleep apnea thing happens sometimes where I wake up choking
Racing heart for no reason
Feeling ill for hours after eating most meals
Ankles are starting to tingle and itch if I stand too long, swelling is about to start soon
The congestion is terrible. I even got a bloody nose one night from blowing. Breathe right strips help though!
I have a belly button hernia that hurts sometimes, hoping it will go away after birth

Some must-haves:
Decent maternity jeans and tops that make you feel pretty and cool
Bigger bras. Might as well get nursing bras.
Lots of ultra moisturizing body lotion for the belly
Benadryl or Unisom for sleep (I already checked with my doc and it's ok)
Breathe Right Strips
Cover-up because my acne is out of control
Panty liners. Is it pee? Is it water? Is it snot? I have no idea but yuck
Decent bed pillows
Protein. Lots of protein.
Water. Lots of water.

Now, if only the third trimester would just hurry the hell along. I'd like to get my c-section scheduled! I know I'll have zero stamina for another ungodly long traumatic labor and delivery. And to be honest, I already feel like such poop, that an abdominal surgery to bring an end to my misery sounds like quite a relief. All I know is my worst fear in all this is delivering one baby vaginally, and the other via C-section. Not for me. So this is the surest way to avoid that.