When we took Mabel into the vet for her tummy rash Tuesday (she is doing fine btw), we heard a boy around 12 years old sobbing through the door saying "I can't watch" and we instantly knew what was happening. As we were paying up front, we saw the boy waiting alone on a bench and his eyes red were red and swollen and I was biting my lip to just hold it together till I got to the car. I wish so bad I could have hugged him and told him it will get better but I didn't wanna freak him out. Then as we were leaving we saw his two sisters and dad come out of the office with the same red swollen eyes and I completely lost it for the whole ride home.
This experience instantly took me back to when our pug Cyrus was put to sleep about 3 years ago and how devastated we were at leaving the vet's office without our dog. We went in with him, and we left without him. And we weren't even expecting it. I just remember being so glad I kissed him goodbye before we let the tech take him to the back. I will probably always go there in my mind when I know someone is putting their dog to sleep. It completely rips open that scab that time has healed. He was our first baby.
Knowing that we will have to go through this at least two more times in our lives makes me so incredibly sad and sick with dread because I know exactly how rotten it feels to have to make such a hard decision. I don't want to live with this sadness in my heart but I know it's inevitable (granted no horrible accidents happen that take them away from us that way) and we'll have to go through it again one day. But anyone who has a dog knows that they are worth it. All the happiness and love they bring while they are in our lives is worth the pain of saying goodbye. Because without them, you would have never experienced that love at all and would have no idea what you missed.
The best days of my life have been times spent with my dogs. The worst days of my life have been when they've passed. Dogs have made my life better, full stop.
ReplyDeleteGreat photo of Cyrus!
Even talking about this makes me tear up. I said goodbye to both my childhood dogs in the last year and a half and it was just awful. For one of them the vet actually came to us at home so he could fall asleep in his own bed and I was so thankful. It will always haunt me as one of the most painful moments of my life. I just try and focus on the 14 years he was with me and how having a dog brought so much to my life xo
ReplyDeleteSo hard to read this. I know exactly what you mean and how you feel.
ReplyDelete5 years ago we had to give away our 14 year old little Yorkshire called Snoopy. He wasn't feeling well for quite some time, and when my mom and I took him to the vet, she said he was slowly poisoning himself.
We didn’t want him to suffer anymore, so we decided it was best to put him to sleep.
I called my sister, and she couldn’t believe it either. We waited until my dad was home and went to the vet all together (kind of the same the day we bought him).
He slowly passed away in our presence, surrounded with the enormous amount of love we had for him. It was one of the hardest things I had to do in my life. I wasn’t only giving away my dog, I was giving away my brother who was always there for me.
I’m dreading the day I have to give away my cats, or even my sister’s dog, but I couldn’t live without any of those beautiful moments you can experience with a pet.
I have a 11 yr old dog and I'm really hoping she goes in her sleep. I know I'd never be able to face putting her down. Our other small dog, he's only 7, has diabetes and even though it's hard to take car of him (insulin, special diet, etc) I can't imagine having to put him down. We've talked about it but I just get so emotional. I try not to think about it but you're right it's always there.
ReplyDeleteTough stuff for sure. I hate thinking about it. I love my two pups to death and can't imagine a day with out them. I know that having the pups no longer in my life will be a hard thing to endure someday, but right now I'm just enjoying the wonderful times I have with them. :)
ReplyDeleteRob tells me that I think about this too much, but it's something that I know will be incredibly traumatic for both of us and it terrifies me. It's so bizarre having to decide the fate of a living being - I've never done it as an adult (my parents had my dog put down when I was a kid) but I think about it a lot. Sometimes I just hug Cypress or snuggle with her and try to remember how she smells and what she looks like so I can be in that moment with her. I know I'll miss it when she's gone.
ReplyDeleteI fully agree! I don't think I could ever not have a dog in my life :)
ReplyDeleteOh how sad! But I think that's so wonderful that the vet came to your home. It's much more comforting than a loud and strange smelling vets office :(
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry to hear about your pup! I agree, they are definitely members of the family much like a sibling or child.
ReplyDeleteI'd also rather they pass in their sleep too, though if they could live forever that would be perfect ;)
ReplyDeleteYes, enjoy the wonderful times! Don't even think about the future. I hope I didn't bring everyone down with this post lol
ReplyDeleteOh man, I feel you! I also like to smell their heads by their ears. I wish I could live in the moment better. I'm always thinking about the past or the future.
ReplyDeleteoh gosh that's so sweet of them to do that! i bet you will cherish that forever :)
ReplyDeleteWe found out a month and a half ago that our dog has cancer and it was/is one of the hardest things we've ever done. She's been through radiation that we travel two hours away to have done at the University of Florida's excellent vet school. She just finished and now we're trying to figure out post-radiation treatment. There was a time when they didn't think treatment would be possible, but once it became an option we were so relieved. I don't know if I could have handled putting her to sleep. It tore us up just thinking about the possibility.
ReplyDeleteI've also seen this happen at our vet's office and felt so awful for the people, especially when it's unexpected like your instance with Cyrus. :(
Oh I'm so glad to hear about the treatment being an option! That is definitely a relief.
ReplyDeleteI have to say, with how insanely hard it was to loose my little guy this winter I still know that I am so blessed that I never had to have him put down and he had a (very) long happy life and wasn't even in pain until the last week. I know I just won't even be able to handle it if we have to put one down someday!
ReplyDeleteI understand 100%, lovely. It's so hard, when they are put down or pass away. But their love... their love is amazing and I mean that about all animals. Puppers, kitties, birds, etc. Even fish. I love them all. They're our babies.
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